Certified Performance Coach

Email: cami@mclarencoaching.com    /    Call: (916) 747-3660

Saying “Yes” = Saying “No”

Consider this:  Every time you say “yes” to something, you are saying “no,” to something else.

For example:

“Yes; I will finish the project today” = “No; I won’t be home on time for dinner.”

“Yes, let’s buy that house” = “No; we won’t be going to Hawaii this year.”

Some of the yes/no relationships are obvious, but others are less so.  The idea is to learn to be conscious when you say “yes” and ask yourself, “what will I have to give up in order to do this?”  There will always be something you have to give up.  When you find what you have to give up, this will enable you to say “yes” (or “no”) more intelligently.

Think of it like an ecosystem.  We have learned that a pesticide introduced in one part of the system (plants) affects humans and animals in other parts of the system.  We know that if even a very small insect becomes extinct, it can affect the viability of other species not even in direct contact with that insect.

In NLP (neuro linguistics programming), we call this the ecology of the system.  The theory is that everything in your life is connected (is part of one whole system) and when you make a change, or take action in one area, it will inevitably affect other areas of the system.  If you skimp on sleep, you may give up your health for a time.  If you work more, you may spend less time with your children, who may start to resent you, causing you to need to spend more time with them.  No decisions are made in isolation.

Begin to see all of your life as a system.  Notice where actions or decisions in one area affect the other areas.  Then think about this before you say, “yes.”


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Cami McLaren
Cami McLaren Coaching
Phone: (916) 747-3660
Email: cami@mclarencoaching.com
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